PO Box 550170 Waltham MA 02452

  • Name Thomas Idiculla, PhD

  • Designation President

  • Posted On 01-07-2009

Marriage & Parenting

Director, Mental Health Evaluation Dept & eBASIS, McLean Hospital; Instructor in Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School

Comparison of Children's Problems in US and India

    * Teen pregnancy 2, 795 daily * Teen abortions 1, 106 daily * Miscarriages 372 daily * Live births 1, 295 daily * Sexually active 7, 742 more daily * Drunk driving arrests 437 daily * Drug abuse arrests 211 daily * Drug abusing pregnant women 11% * Babies exposed to drug 375, 000 annually * Child abuse reports, 1988 43, 565 * Children in custody, 1983 80, 091 * Female children in custody, 1983 19.11% * Female children in custody, 1987 21% * Source: Children's Defense Fund, (1989)


    * Infant mortality rate 98 deaths/1, 000 * Low body weight 85% of children * Blindness (Vitamin A deficiency) 30,000 annually * Illiteracy (children below 14 years) 62% * Non-attendance of school 50% * Child labor (children below 14 years) 6.2% * Increase in male juvenile crime (1972-82) 47.7% * Increase in female juvenile crime (1972-82) 30.4% * Destitute, orphan children 5.56% * Street children (Bombay) 100,000 * Source: National Institute of Child Development, India, (1992)

  • Where Your Children Are?

    It is not too late bring back those of our children who are away from church activities, family values, ethics, and morals. They are wondering and wandering their own streets of lives, asking "Who can answer and guide me on the right path of life?" They are traveling on the street of misery, which lies between a hard place and a rock of two cultures, leading to the unpromising back alley of the twin cultures they daily face.

    Our children are our back-bone for tomorrow. They are the leaders of tomorrow. With this vision we should resolve their problems and prepare them by answering their reasonable questions, and lead them with godly counsel to walk in the path of righteousness. Otherwise, what hope is there for us to imagine our children as tomorrow's leaders? We have the responsibility of reconciling their body, soul, and spirit to a whole being that they may function as God intended. We need to comfort, guide, and sustain the tender hearts and minds of our children before the devil can damage them any longer. It is obvious that our children are torn between two cultures, but we can prepare them to face the demands of tomorrow spiritually, physically, and materially by the help of God through committed trained pastors, counselors, and godly psychologists who understand the whole person of our children.

    Parents and churches are quite concerned about the next generation, but so far we have been asking each other, "What should we do with our young people? How do we turn them around to conduct godly lives at church, home, and school? How do we prepare them for their future and right choice of marriage?" Many are searching for ways to bring up their youth to focus on godliness, values, ethics, morals, and right marriage relationship. Such efforts are commendable.

    However, it is worth noting that human personality is so complex and an understanding of it would be very helpful to resolve many of the problems our young people face today. A trained counselor in this area is more adept to heal the wounds of our youth than an ordinary believer. He is equipped with various tools and strategies to reconcile many of the problems our youth face today and to comfort, guide and sustain them for tomorrow.

    Therefore, it is wise to consider receiving the help of Agape Family Education and Research Council. It is an organization committed to help our youth through counseling and seminars under the umbrella of existing churches in this nation. May God give us all wisdom and insight to make use of available resources that are inherent in our godly professionals to benefit the future of our children. It is not too late

  • It was after the youth meeting,

    It was after the youth meeting, the parents gathered downstairs for coffee, the conversation turned to their children’s latest accomplishments. Mathew’s son was finishing medical school. George’s daughter was already a cardiologist. Abraham spoke once more about how much money his daughter was making at that law firm downtown. One of them turned to Chacko, “What about your son? What is he doing anyway?” Chacko tried to laugh it off. The truth was that he was worried. His son had dropped out of college after the first year. Chacko was very concerned that his son just wasn’t turning out right.

    A majority of parents today experience these concerns at least in part. In Indian families, we aren’t necessarily worried about drugs or sex affecting our children, however, as they grow older the worry is that they are not achieving their potential or living up to expectations. Many parents then feel guilty for even thinking such thoughts. These anxieties, largely unseen but a potent force nonetheless, causes tension, disagreements, difficult relations, and countless arguments over trivialities.

    “Am I alone in feeling this way? Is there any hope for me? How can I get past these worries? Does God care about my children? Where can I go for help?” The first step in finding answers to these questions is to admit that we have a problem. That sounds like simple advice but it is very important. We have to be honest with ourselves and with God. Second, we need to turn to God for help. God has promised He will not give us any burden that is too heavy to bear. We are His children. He will never let us walk alone. He will always be near us, and He has promised to take away our fears when we look to Him and admit that we need His help. When our families seem to be falling apart, it is diffcult to realize God is there and that ultimately He is in control. But we will never overcome our problems by our own abilities. We have to rely on Him.

    Finally, it is only through relying on God and standing on God’s promises that we will be able to overcome our problems. When the devil tries to convince you that your child will never turn away from his or her destructive lifestyle and return to God and to the rest of the family, you can resist by standing on the promises of God: Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household (Acts 16:31); I will contend with those who contend with you, and your children I will save (Isaiah 49:25). The Lord declares that there is hope for your future. Your children will return to their own land (Jeremiah 31:17). Many more Bible verses can help you stand when you try to find solutions to your family problems.

    Anxiety and fear do not have to rule our lives. There is a better way - do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philipians 4:6-7). There is hope, and there is help—trust in the Lord, delight in Him, commit your way to the Lord and He will do this.

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